Ehh....(Mannequin)

Some days man... I dunno really. Just am experiencing some rather frightening things at the moment. Not bad frightening, actually quite good. But just a pouring of emotions and feelings I've never felt before and to be honest its driving me quite literally insane. But I wouldnt trade this for anything in the world.

Note to any family members who are reading this, please dont ask me to explain it or anything. I wont. Its nothing to be concerned about by any means, just something I need to deal with myself

Anywho, I feel like the big man up stairs is kicking me in the face for some of the things I've thought and believed in my life. And maybe this isnt the case, but it sure feels like it and it feels like he's trying to draw me closer to him with this. A revelation I've waited almost 19 years for.

I've always been told by my mother and sisters that I'll make some girl so happy when I get older. Yes they told me this when I was no older than 10 but it still stuck with me. This statement has come little since then but I think if they thought I wasnt doing a good job they would tell me. Oh well. But apparently they are right, either that or I truely am dreaming.

They say perfection doesnt exist. but what if we look at perfection in a different aspect? What if we look at perfection as nothing more than a human opinion where its validity is only as strong as the persons emotion on this subject. Wouldnt that mean that perfection could very well exist? Take the people on tv for instance(yes i know its not real). If they truely love eachother as much as they are portrayed that they do, wouldnt that mean that in their eyes, the other is perfect? I know, abit of an odd and hard to keep up with kind of tangent but it is more important than you can imagine.

"I do not believe that God plays dice" This is what Albert Einstein said. Now to be honest he was speaking of quantum mechanics and its absurdity in general but this quote goes far beyond any abstract scientific idea. This means that everything and everyone and every event that has, is, or will ever happen is done for a specific purpose. That all we must do is ask him to guide us and show us and he shall do it when he sees fit. Most people would have a hard time with this idea, and thats understandable. Who wouldnt want to think they have full control over their futures? Well it is true, God works in mysterious ways, and is the greatest gift giver of all. Thank you for what you've given me, thank you for bringing this to me after such a long time of patience and learning.

Another odd tangent, but it too is very important. I apologize that i speak in riddles, but read enough of what i have to say and it shall all become very clear ^_^

On a lighter note, here is a sequence of numbers. give me the next two numbers in the sequence :)

1
11
21
1211
111221
312211
13112221
1113213211
__________
__________

Have fun, if you want the solution message me at robzombiefan@hotmail.com

Jesse G